Getting somewhere to start with…

Welcome to my new home city. It’s a little confusing to arrive in a place where English is not the predominant tongue, and even more so when you find that words don’t resemble those in English, German, French – or any language you may have studied at high school. Consequently, I hope you’ll at least give this document a cursory glance – so you’re not at the airport thinking ‘what the…?’ which has been known to happen to others. No names mentioned.

I apologise in advance if this seems condescending, I just know that I appreciate when Anna at the EPIET program office give us such details, and thought you might also appreciate it.

Anyway: here is what you’ll see when you exit the passport control and baggage reclaim area. There are two exits in front of you (D and E) and some cash machines over to the left. They take Maestro, Cirrus, Visa Electron, Visa, Mastercard and pretty much most debit cards with any of those symbols. It’s probably worth getting some cash out (unless you’re extremely anal about travelling) though you’ll want to find the travelex or pub (also to the left) immediately to get some loose change for the ticket!
Take Exit D to the big wide world (and fresh air) again!

Note for those travelling from Non-Shengen countries, you're going to arrive at Terminal 2. This is a relatively new thing. When you come out of the baggage arrivals, you will be at door K (I think from memory) and the cash machines are to the right - down at the very end. You can also purchase a metro ticket from the helpful transport booth (to the left of the doors). I would advise you get a 7-day ticket (280Kc), or a 3-day ticket (220Kc). See the full ticket selection here.

NB: the toilets in the baggage claim area (at least, the female ones) are HUGE (all the better to accommodate all the duty free chocolate and vodka you are bringing me) so use them BEFORE you take public transport for 50mins!

Terminal 1 arrivals: You’ll immediately be faced with a pedestrian crossing, leading to an arch. This crosses the ‘drop off’ road at the airport. Check LEFT prior to crossing, as pedestrian crossings don’t necessarily mean the same here as they do in your home.
Hmm…my photos didn’t turn out so well…but that yellow sign says: BUS (obviously), and the bottom line says “119 Dejvicka – Metro A à”. That’s where you wanna go!
So follow the arrow (once you’ve crossed the road) and turn immediately right!

Terminal 2: you guys are almost the same. You'll exit the doors into a haze of smoke, hovering over a rank of yellow taxis. Ignore the hawkers (and spitters) and go across that road and stand in wait for the bus. NOTE: Look up at the bus stops - there are three of them. You need the one which says "Bus 119". Trust me, I've been passed by Bus 119 because I was 5m away. From memory, it's the bust stop right at the front of the three.

Now you’ll see a sign with a bus on it, and a timetable. You’re going to jump on the number 119 bus, and you’re CURRENTLY at the Letišté Ruzyné stop (or Ruzyne Airport in English). The timetable is very regular, and tells you that it’ll take you 21 minutes to get to your final destination. The initial column tells you the names of the stops (you’re going to Dejvicka) then “Pracovaní Den” is the times the bus leaves on each “work day” in 24hr clock, and the “Sobota a Nedele” colum tells you the times for the bus on Saturday and Sunday.

But before you jump on the bus, you need to get a ticket.
There are often plain clothes ticket inspectors ON the buses and you don’t want a fine THIS soon – that’s just embarrassing. The ticket machines ONLY accept coins. You’ll need a 20Kc ticket, which will get you into the city. See previous mention of how to purchase tickets. The booth is the easiest - since they'll take notes.

But that’s not all. You’ll not only need to keep the ticket with you for the duration of your trip (in case accosted by a ticket inspector) but you’ll need to get it ‘authenticated’ immediately upon stepping onto the bus. Unfortunately I have no photo of the little machine that you use for this task – but it’s yellow, has an arrow on it, and you insert your ticket until your ticket is printed upon (time and date stamp). Your ticket has an expiration time – so don’t linger too long – which is long enough to get you well beyond where you’re going – so don’t worry!

Now you wait for a bus that looks like this (yes, I know you’ve all probably seen buses – but sometimes the charter ones look the same!)
The guy inside (on this photo) may NOT be your bus driver! Oh, and see that yellow thing on his left? That’s the ‘authentication’ machine I mentioned above! They’re just by all the doors, so the excuse “I couldn’t find one” doesn’t wash. Apparently!

But where are you travelling to? You’re heading in “Smer Dejvická :MA:” which is pronounced ‘smer day-vits-cka’ by a nice lady. The LED should look like the one on the left!


Sometimes the display will change. When you hear the lass say “prrjisty zaztavka: Dayvitska. Naveestup linka Metrem A” (phonetically – for those who have started Czech lessons already!) then start gathering your belongings! But there’s also a visual aid on the side of the bus (above the head of the dude in front) which shows where you came from, which stop you’re approaching, and what the last stop is! Remarkably useful!


When you alight from the bus, you’ll step out onto pavement, and you’ll be facing a park. Turn to your left.
Follow everyone else into the Metro A (green line) station Dejvicka. You’re almost there! If you haven’t been robbed yet, you’re doing really well. (kidding – it’s really safe – just don’t do anything mindnumbingly idiotic)!

At this point, send me a message to let me know you're here. This way, I can meet you at the apartment. There's a lot of people arriving, please forgive me if I don't make the 50min journey there and back every few hours. I'm not from Butlins, I don't have a red blazer.

As soon as you’re down the first set of stairs you’ll turn slightly to your left, where you’ll see:

Though once again, the vending machine is not always going to be there. Anyway, go through the doors under the orange sign. You’ll then see more of those yellow ticket authentication boxes by some escalators going down. But you can ignore them this time – you only need to get your ticket validated at the beginning of your trip.

Take the escalators down…and there’s only one platform to wait at since the other is for arrivals only.
The sign above the platform says “Smer depo Hostivař"which means “Direction depo Hostivař. Jump on the first train that gets there on that platform…

Then ride the Green (A) line 4 stops to Mustek.

Now, believe it or not, the two apartments that you're staying in are in the same apartment building. Awesome don't you think? I was going to have you all wear name tags to identify yourselves as being part of Nomes' large contingent, but thought you might all revolt. And I just can't risk having a bad fairy at my party.

Get off the metro at Namesti Miru. To the top of the escalator, look for a sign that says Francouska Ulice (it's the 'middle' set of stairs). Take them to the top, and you should stumble across some tram tracks. Cross the road to the other side, and wait for trams number 4, 22, or 23. Take the tram ONE STOP up the hill.

Alight (see, I used to be from the UK) from the tram. Walk about 15m in the SAME DIRECTION THE TRAM WAS GOING IN, and you'll come across a street on your right called Jana Masaryka. If you're REALLY observant, you'll notice this was the name of the tram stop at which you alighted. Oh yes. You're doing well, no jetlag for you!

Walk down this street. I say down, because you'll find yourself walking downhill. This is a good thing. Take the first street on the left called Varsavska (which, if you pretend you're Russian, is Warsaw. Cool, huh?). Keep walking down this street (2 intersections, and one where the street kind of becomes an avenue with a large island in the middle - ignore the weirdness and push on through) until you get to the bottom, and you'll see a large house on the street perpendicular to Varsavska. That's most likely ours. If it's got a BLUE number 2 on it (okay, the square is blue, the number itself is white) then it IS ours. The bell says Joseph Glancy. Press the bell. Someone will magically come down and let you up.

Welcome.

GOOD LUCK!! (and don't worry, no one smiles here!)

“Do you speak English?”is: “mloo-vee-tay anne-glit-skee?” If they don’t – ask someone else!!
"Do you speak German?" is: "mloo-vee-tay n-ye-met-skee?"
"Do you speak French?" is: "mloo-vee-tay fran-tsoh-skee?"
"Do you speak Italian?" is: "mloo-vee-tay ital-skee?" etc.

"do you know where New Zealand is?" is: "Vee-teh k-deh ye Novy Zay-landye?" But that's a bit of a dumb question. "zna-tay Novy Zay-landye?" is much better, "do you know New Zealand?". No one has heard of the all blacks here. Get over it.